by Sharanya Munsi
Positive parenting tips ideally help parents tackle a child’s behavior efficiently and effortlessly. However, most of them do not understand that some of these tips turn futile in the absence of a complete understanding of why a child is behaving in a particular manner.
What is positive parenting?
Many people assume positive parenting is fluffy parenting – the one that doesn’t offer consequences to poor choices or discipline to mildly to ill behaviors. Those who are unfamiliar with the effortless concept of positive parenting often vote for competitions where 'every child is a winner' or practice - 'everyone-gets-a-trophy' scenario, and often argue with others to say: 'my-child-can't-go-wrong.' I maybe wrong, but that's what child psychologist, Laura Markham, Ph.D. Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids validates.
"How will they know right from wrong when they are never taught something will happen when they do wrong?" - Laura Markham
Let's take an example here: If you tell your child to do something you think is discipline and he doesn't listen or simply ignores you, it's completely normal! it truly is! He is fully absorbed in what he's doing. Perhaps, taking a bath "this minute" is probably not more important than whatever he's doing.
Most issues pertaining to a child's unacceptable behavior or so we think stems from the fact that his/her parents have been living in a state of denial or parents feel like they're entitled to get kids to work around their timings.
So, there are TWO issues here that we are dealing with:
1. We feel our kids deserve a trophy
2. We feel our kids should do exactly what we ask of them
Read on to see if embracing certain 'positive parenting tips and techniques can help change the face of how you're raising your little one... These tips can possibly help establish better communication, develop child’s individuality, and contribute towards domestic peace altogether.
10 Positive parenting tips for healthy child development:
1. Patience is a virtue to cherish
Children come in the form of litmus tests for patience in parents. Be it asking the meaning of the sun while you attend a meeting or making a fuss during cereal-eating time.
They test your patience every time you put down your foot over screen-free meal time. As a parent, it comes down to which battles you want to lose with patience to win the ultimate war. It is highly recommended that parents encourage their kids to meditate with them. This can work wonders.
2. Cue words
For parents handling a toddler who is just starting to learn words, teaching cue words can be a lifesaver. This can range from words for the washroom to hunger to sleep. They go a long way in helping you relax and not be constantly on toes guessing your child’s basic needs.
3. Alone time for children
Most parenting tips for parents focus on carving out alone time for parents but children need it just as much to be able to grow, explore, and understand the world on their own terms and pace. So, create a safe and protected environment for them where they can be alone with themselves and shape their personality be it through crafts or reading or interesting and innovative children activities.
4. Paint life with realism
Parents across the animal kingdom have an inherent tendency to cocoon their kids. While this is much appreciated, an often silent parenting tip is don’t let your child be blind to the pain and effort you take to keep them happy.
5. Explanation over spanking
Almost all parenting tips rightfully discourage spanking or beatings. However, they often leave out the alternative to it, logic. Never miss an opportunity to explain to your child why breaking a vase or tossing a wrapper out of the car window is bad.
6. Sensitize them to the pains of others
Children are very fast to learn and express sympathy, this comes easily to them when they are made aware of the pain of others around them. Explain to them what a limping dog or a wailing cat may be going through.
7. Let them be a helping hand
When it comes to house chores, most parents shy away from letting children help, assuming they will add to your task instead of reducing it. While it may be true at the beginning, there is no harm letting them lay the table or get the tomatoes.
8. Be mindful of introducing them to biases
Parenting tips for parents often ignore how a parent needs to be virtuously shaped for a child. Children pick up on our ideas and behaviors fast, this also includes biases. So be mindful of how you behave around things outside your comfort zone for you might just be teaching your child the same bias.
9. Respect them
No child ever wants to be treated as a child. Dismissing their views or not lending an ear to them simply for being a child is disrespecting their individuality. Instead, hear them out and then explain why their favorite teddy can’t join them at the dining table as per the rules of the adult world.
10. Empty vessels can’t pour
An often unsaid parenting tip for parents is self-care. Happy parents lead to a happy child. So take time off for yourself to rejuvenate as it will let you have the positive energy to interact with your child and get going.
The world of parenting wisdom is vast and varied and only dons upon a parent with experience. However, here’s hoping these parenting tips help ease the confusions and misconceptions.